Catskill Mountain Mental Health

The Tricky Business of New Year’s Resolutions

January has a way of inviting big promises.

Maybe it’s Dry January.

Maybe it’s a new gym membership that felt very motivating—right up until the snow piled up.

Maybe it’s a pledge to get more involved in your community, but by midwinter the energy you imagined just isn’t there.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Many of us start the year with genuine hope and good intentions, only to feel discouraged when changing our habits turns out to be harder than we expected. Research tells us that meaningful habit change often takes many attempts, sometimes ten or more, before it truly sticks. That means “not getting it right” isn’t failure; it’s part of the process.

This is where resilience comes in.

Resilience isn’t about forcing ourselves to be positive or pushing through at all costs. It’s about learning how to bend without breaking—and how to find our way back when things feel heavy.

Here on the mountaintop, we see this every winter. Birch trees bend low under the weight of snow, sometimes almost touching the ground. Then, as the snow lightens—or with a little help brushing it away—they slowly rise again, returning to their full height and strength. Like those trees, we too can bounce back—sometimes on our own, and sometimes with support from others.

Last month, I introduced The Eight Dimensions of Wellness as a tool for supporting wellbeing. These dimensions—emotional, physical, social, spiritual, intellectual, environmental, financial, and occupational—offer a gentle way to step back and take stock of our lives.

Rather than making sweeping resolutions, consider reviewing these areas—alone or with a family member or friend—and reflecting on a few simple questions:

• What’s working well right now?
• What feels challenging?
• Where might I want to set a small, realistic goal?

This is easier said than done. Most of us need support, and space to talk honestly about the obstacles that inevitably get in the way. Change rarely happens in isolation, and it rarely happens all at once.

In motivational interviewing, change is understood as a process that unfolds over time. Sometimes we are in a place of not yet changing; we may know something isn’t working, but we’re not ready to do anything about it. At other times, we begin thinking about change, weighing the pros and cons, and imagining what might be different. From there, we may take a small step, trying something new, even briefly. With time, repetition, and support, those small steps can turn into habits we work to maintain.

Moving between these stages is normal—and often necessary. Recognizing where we are in the process can help us choose patience over pressure and make change feel more possible.

Wellbeing is rarely shaped by one big decision. More often, it grows through small, thoughtful choices made over time, shaped by our relationships, our surroundings, and the season we are in. When we view change through this wider lens, we give ourselves permission to move gently, to ask for support, and to trust that even small steps can carry meaning. 

In the coming months, I’ll explore each of the Eight Dimensions of Wellness more deeply and share ways to create SMART goals—goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. These kinds of goals focus on small, doable steps that build toward meaningful long-term change, rather than all-or-nothing resolutions that can leave us feeling defeated.

For now, as winter settles in, I invite you to be gentle with yourself. Like the birch tree, resilience doesn’t mean standing rigid against the storm—it means allowing yourself to bend, seek help when needed, and trust that rising again is possible.

Monthly reflection: Where do you notice connection—or disconnection—in your social life right now? And what is one small step that feels possible this season to enhance your social connections?

In the next issue of Mountaintop Emotional Resilience, I will explore Emotional Wellbeing. What emotions have weighed heavy on your heart lately, and what small act of care might support you this season?

Helle Thorning, Ph.D., MS, LCSW is a licensed mental health professional and educator. You can learn more about her and her practice here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1284875 

The Eight Dimensions of Wellness is a helpful whole-person resource for supporting well-being:

https://library.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/sma16-4958.pdf

If you or someone you know is feeling hopeless or thinking about suicide, call 988 for immediate support. You can also reach out to a trusted friend, family member, clergy member, or licensed mental health professional—no one has to face these feelings alone.